Saturday, January 23, 2010

Glib Talking. How to shut people up - instantly.

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(Disclaimer:- This post is not an encouragement to the reader to provide incorrect information to anybody, anywhere.)
Be confident when you blah..

It's easy if you know how.

Ok, so we talk. Professionally, with friends, colleagues, strangers, on the Internet, on Tv, Radio. It's a list of things. How many of us can claim to be the best speaker / talker among them all? Can You?

More often than not..there's always some smart alec who's taking the lead on the chat by talking glib, the loudest, the most and mostly aggressive. Isn't that so?? And you sulk. Well..'no taking the backseat no more'.

With this post...we aim to achieve the following:

1. When you talk, people listen.
2. When you talk - people are dazzled with the information you are able to provide.
3. No one can contradict your line of argument or talk / speech.. and...
4. You emerge as the next hero of the time when it comes to glib talking. The unbeatable.

So...Is this Possible? Word for word - all 4 points above?? Well, if you think it isn't - you are seriously under-estimating yourself.

Three words for you - Yes you can !! Period. Let's proceed.

Know this - there's only one thing in this world that has the power to..
* baffle you by sheer numbers,
* puzzle you senseless by proportions,
* shock you speechless with predictions and percentage,
* get you tongue-tied.. and
* if You're using it, make you look like demi-God walking on Earth.

And that thing is called - the mighty "STATISTICS".

Do not underestimate it's power. It's virtually unbeatable. First an example for you so you understand what I'm even talking about. Read it patiently.

Let's assume I'm standing in a group that is arguing on the country's population for the last 20 minutes, without any conclusion. The group is divided into two sub groups on 2 different arguments.
Group A* says: The population of the country will keep increasing for the next 20 years.
Group B* denies this and argues on the opposite.
Assuming we are on group A's side..If you were to talk about this..

Your answer would, most probably, be something like this...
"Well, you know, the government is not really doing anything about it. And the..uh..condom sale is not that much either, plus the awareness on the subject is not really much. We need to buck up and the government should do something about a campaign or something. But since no one is doing anything about it, it will probably be on the increase. No stopping it." (Yawn....average at best.)

Now the GLIB, statistical answer would be....

"Well, if you consider total land dimensions of the country.... it occupies around 2.3% of the Entire World area but carries roughly 12.3% of total world’s population.

If you include the probability factor.... India is expected to overtake China to become the world’s most populous country within the next 20 years. More than enough to prove that India has shown progressive signs of being over populated.

Determining the margin on error percentage.... I'd say if we are 1.17 billion now, the continuity will not stop unless strong steps are taken against it. Meanwhile we continue to grow.

Sample this.... the greatest concentration of ST members in 1991 lived in the states of AP-around 12.2 million, Tamil Nadu-15%, Bihar-18%, West Bengal-27% and UP-31% and the statistics are fast increasing by 2% every 3rd quarter of a year. Says a lot.

The means and the proportions are not the same always.... so I believe in all probability, the population will be on a rise, undoubtedly for the next 20 years."


WOW !!! (me taking a bow)

Quick questions to you:--

Were you Impressed by this answer?? - I'm sure you were.
Did this shut you up instantly?? - I'd say yes it did, didn't it?
Do you stand a chance to argue on the above information with me? - Nope. I don't think so.
Can you cross check the data? - No, you can't.
Is all this data correct? - No idea. Who cares really?
Where did the statistics come from? - All made up so you know I can talk and so you learn not to meddle with me ever again.

By the way... read the above example again and notice only the beginning lines of the paragraphs before the "...." ! They are all made up by me. I have tried to fit them in such a way that they don't look conspicuous.

I have broken up the way we will answer and made it real easy on how to go about it. So how do you do it? let's go step wise:

This is the trick..
Step 1 - Use Big dictionary words
Step 2 - Use Statistics and percentages
Step 3 - Use Probability factor
Step 4 - Use Hypothesis and
Step 5 - Close your argument/talk with analysis of your talk in one line.
Step 6 - You may mix and match the above 5 steps anywhere, anytime in your conversation.

This is the break down of statements:

How to begin your statements;
Whenever you begin, use the following given statements as your openers, either as statement openers or for paragraphs in between.

* I believe the fact is....
* The best probability of the matter is...
* Sample this...
* If you Analise this, you will find that...
* If you include the probability factor...
* Determining the margin on error percentage, I'd say it is....
* The means and the proportions are not the same always so....
* Computing the fact that....

(Make up some more on your own)

The moment you begin with such statements, your audience subconsciously knows whatever is to follow is surely gonna be unarguable.

Use big synonyms of small words from the dictionary. This is the only point where I ask you to make a habit of picking up words from the news papers or dictionary that are simple in meaning but not used commonly. Add them anywhere they fit in your conversation.

That's It !!! I'm done. Remember: This takes time. It will not be an over night miracle. But once you pick it up right, you yourself will be a miracle in no time.

Oh and by the way, if some smart alec tries to argue on your talk, you calmly ask him to prove you wrong instead. He won't be able to. Statistics is percentage and percentage is not a real value number, u see? Just sit down and look as others shut him up for you. :-)

Now, I'm sure you have a lot of questions to ask. That's precisely why I have made Two more examples for you to understand the way you can be glib. Pick up the idea, the tone and the way it is spoken. Notice the beginning lines of paragraphs. Make up more on your own and let me know. Not difficult.

Example 1:

QUE: - How much money should a family use to budget itself?

ANS - Well, the fact is that no two families are alike, Spending varies by income level, Costs vary by region...etc. So no rules can be set on how much one has to spend.

If you include the probability factor, I'd say... that there are too many other reasons to make general assumptions in many categories.

Sample this.. The kinds of expenses the families have on a usual basis..are Food 7.7%, Alcoholic 1.0%, Housing 32.9%, Clothes 4.0%, Vehicles 9.1%,Gas 3.3%, Health care 5.9%, Entertainment 5.0%, Education 1.9%. etc. Too many.

And so if you Analise this, you will find that...the means and the proportions are not the same always. So it's difficult to say the least. Therefore it's best decided by the families on their internal basis.

But, If I were to make an educated guess, I'd say even if 45% of Indian families living in towns and 13% living in the villages make a daily habit of utilizing only 60% of their total income on monthly budget, we'd be better off in the next 10 years than we were in the last 10.

(If u can't get 'em, confuse 'em. Sounds genuine, eh? hehe)

Example 2:

QUE - Will India's economy power rise?

ANS - Well, India was under social democratic-based policies from 1947 to 1990. The economy was characterized by extensive regulations and, protectionism leading to pervasive corruption and slow growth. (*Big words done.)

Computing the fact that recent times have moved the economy towards a market-based system, it has high number of chances of a rise.

Determining the margin on error percentage, I'd say by 2009, India has established itself as the world's second-fastest growing major economy.

The best probability of the fact is that year 2009 saw a significant slowdown in India's official GDP growth rate to 6.1% but picked up by the end of the year.

So in all fairness in comparison to the World Economy, India is soon catching up and will rise at 7.5% rate of speed per month which is equivalent to the best in the world.

(Whew..takes energy to make things up.)

There !! All made up out of thin air.

What do you think? Hey, TWEET / ReTWEET if you liked it.
Now go..get 'em with your glib, Tiger.

19 Spoke their mind: yep, makes a difference !!

Anonymous said...

:) Ha ha ... :) I agree it was impressive - loved the population example. I feel sticking to the point and avoiding rambling/beating around the bush is also helpful.

Anand said...

Hi IHM. How be u?
Lol .It was fun writing it. It works big time btw.

Tanvi said... i know how u r good at convincing people..


Imp's Mom said...


the economics quest took me back to college where all u had to do was glib stats n probability in the papers to pass :)

ankitamehta said...

ANAND, I promise you to include this post in the curriculum I teach to the thirdyear and fourth year engineering students. And I will give you and your blog the credit it deserves!!!The do's and don'ts of group dicussion by Anand! All I can say is thank you guruji!!!!!

Anand said...

Impiee....Haa. I used to cram for my exams in college. Cram cram cram. Rattofy was the word.
Thanx. :-)

Anand said...

Ankita....U serous? wow. No guruji n all ya.
Thanx. It was fun writing it.

V Rakesh said...

Lol, Andy boi...... the best advice here!

Ever notice, a lotta folks who smart talk have little stuff...... kinda all fart types!

Anand said...

Haha...Rakesh. u spoke the exact words that inspired me to write his one in the first place.

Yea thr r such people and like it or not...they do well cuz of this too. Go figure.

Thanx dude. Im visiting u now. Long time since I did.

Self- Proclaimed Shoe Addict said...

i loved it! tho 30% of me didnt agree with the population example. if we were having that conversation i wud have put in more statistics.

Anand said...

Lol. well..I still hv ur majority on my side. Im happy. NO complains.
Besides, that ans is open to as much stretch as one can do..depending on how much u wanna.:-)

Anonymous said...

Hillarous Post!!! how do you come up with such ideas!

Anand said...

Yo Dodo...the fact of the matter is....that I jus write wot comes to my mind. More often than's funny. Kya karoon? Lol.
Thanx. :-)

Anand said...

Hey Suffix, Ur most welcome. Take it all. It's free...all free. Hope it works for u. When it does, come back n lemme know,kool?

1000 bucks for your thoughts?



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