Saturday, March 28, 2009

How I Made 500 bucks in 10 minutes...

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B

Look, this is gonna hurt your pride if u think this is below your level...mental or otherwise...and it probably is. But me? Hell..I'm ready to stoop to any legal level if it gets me 500 bucks every 10 minutes.

So how did I make 500 bucks in 10 minutes you ask?

Well, I laid a BET with the guys in office that I could hypnotize a fly without touching it and once it is hypnotized, it will stay where it is and allow me to lightly reach out and lift it by it's wings.

They thought it was impossible to do...jus' like you are thinking now, aren't you?. Precisely why I bet 100 bucks, I could do it - to anyone who thought otherwise.

At the same time, I made the challenge reversible so they knew I wasn't up to any tricks and that I myself would have to pay up if I couldn't do as I had challenged.

Sure enough...a sucker came along. The same guy who had earlier asked me if I had ever worn a Yellow chaddi.

Ok now, before I go on...trust me when I say this...It really IS Possible to hypnotize a fly!

Learn how it's done:
1) Let a fly sit near u. Be silent.

2) Once it seems settled down..Slowly circulate your hand in a wide circle around a feet ABOVE it (make it a 2 ft. diameter circle)...be slow and a bit high at first.
Ever so slowly descend your hand, and ACCELERATE your circling, and spiral in over it. Continue fast, tight, circles for about 5 seconds just above it.

3) Once you've done enough circles, TRUST me..the fly WILL get confused. Call it hypnotized, if u will. In fact, so much so that it will plainly refuse to fly - and it don't matter even if it sees an ELEPHANT'S ASS descending on it.


If done properly, you can easily pick it up by a wing. Takes practice, but if I could do it, so can you.

So on with my story...

It was around 5 in the evening and a few of my colleagues (around 5) and my 'bakra' followed me like THEY were hypnotized, to the local chai wala anna downstairs. Flies louveeaa his place. It's a fly's CCD....Male flies come there to pick up girls...

So, everyone was dying to see me do the...Mission Impossible. All 7 of us comfortably sat on a table for 4, as I chose my target that had just landed on our table - a fat fly.

I shhhhhed them all into silence. I narrowed my eyes..they narrowed theirs. I concentrated on the Fly. They concentrated on me. And then ever so slowly, I manipulated my right hand palm over my 'victim'. As I hovered my hand over it... I focused all my energy on the task at 'hand'. I was slow...I was steady...in between I dropped a sweat drop or two and......finally... I was DONE.

I had successfully done the trick that seemed near impossible to do. It worked like a charm.

The fly had DECLINED to move even as I neared my hand close to it as I heard a few "wooooohhs, oooohss and holy shiiitttt mannn s".

I lifted the fly up, gently by one of it's wings, held it for jus' over a few seconds and placed it down on the empty table near ours. The moment I put the fly down, it flew like a chopper in a hurry taking a wild right turn.

I looked at my colleagues but they were busy staring at space to spot the fly, wondering if it was still groggy and if that had really happened. Slowly everyone turned, with their mouths open, towards my smiling, beaming with pride, face. I had done the MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Hell Yeah !!

After they had slurped their saliva back in and closed their mouths, one of the colleagues suddenly shouted to the guy who had challenged me, "CHAL PAISA NIKAAL". Poor innocent lil me quietly put the 100 bucks into my pocket, while we all sipped Anna's tasty tea...making as much noise as possible....sluuurrrrppppp.....aahhhh blisssss........ !!

In the next 5 minutes, 5 other BAKRAS joined us at the tea stall and the bet was ON again...100 bucks each. One of them declined it but the rest were bang on.

Sighhhhh....500 bucks in 10 minutes. Not a bad day at office, no ?? Atleast now, u can do something other than SWAT the poor fly, eh??

SWATTTT. WHACK.


24 Spoke their mind: yep, makes a difference !!

Tanu Anand said...

AWESOME!.... cocky... but AWESOME! lol.... maaan..i gotta try this..coz the only trick i know is to kill a fly..swat! when it lands near me! ;)...
my fav line.. "It's a fly's CCD....Male flies come there to pick up girls..."... ROTFL!
PS: may i say ur work sounds awesome fun! noone lays bets in my office! :(

Self- Proclaimed Shoe Addict said...

it don't matter even if it sees an elephant's ass decending on in.

hahhahahahahhahahahhhahahahaha.....

my fav line! work place is fun here as well. we dont bet n stuff ooh but i do take everyone's case which is sooooo much of fun. i love embarrassing ppl u c. ya no1 hates me!

i will definitely try it. one of your more useful blogs, eh?

i love!

Anand said...

Tanu...Lol. Thanx so much. Really appreciate it.


Nehal...Thanx ya. The line jus came into my mind.

Anand said...

Self Proclaimed.....Hahaa..
I'm so sure u IMAGINED IT. U cudn't hv laughed so hard otherwise. Ain't that true??? Temme temme..

Destination Infinity said...

That's interesting. The issue in my office is, even if I win bets, they don't give anything :-) But this hypnosis of flies should be definitely difficult!

Destination Infinity

FCB said...

Hi AB,
Okay, this is good. As spring approaches here in Oregon and the flies begin to buzz, I have a new challenge; and if I can master this feet of near magic, I will no doubt be the most important Grandpa of all to my 13 grandkids!
What could be sweeter?
Thanks AB, this was a great post.
Thanks for dropping by my blog,
Fred

Marutham said...

ROTFL!

That was one of a kind post!

Made me laugh and now made me start searching for a fly...

My mom is really confused whats gone wrong with me! :D
Juz looking for the first specimen! ;)

Man- that was truly a funny post...and interesting too.

Happy weekend! :)
Cheers,
Marutham

Anand said...

Destination...Nothing's difficult if tried real hard...

Hi Fred...Here's hopin' n wish u r able to do it. I wud hv lved seein my grandpa doin smething like this.. :-)

Anand said...

Marutham..... Hahahaa....Enjoy urself. Lemme know if u were able to do it though. I wonder if I shud come out with a video for this..hmmm now that's a thot...

Glad u found the post funny. It was s'posed to be.
:-)

Anonymous said...

dis was really good man.. n yes flys ccd was no doubt d best.. wel ur thot of coming out wid a video for dis.. hmmmmm.. good n i shall b waitin for it.

Anand said...

Anon......WIsh U had revealed urself.
Btw, No ways I'm doin that. I'm too jealous actually. Dont want a fly to become a superstar in MY video. Nope..too jealous !!
So No Video..
;-)

Self- Proclaimed Shoe Addict said...

the new look? its MUCH better than the brown thing. looks clean n not tht cluttered.

i like! :D

Inspiration said...

Arree wah! kya bath hai...

Cooooooool and "Nothing's impossible"

Keep going...

Cheers,
J

Anand said...

Self Proclaimed.....yep, looks better now, doesn't it? Besdies it's a 3 column template now. And I have YOU to thank for it. Thank u for helping me with this decision. :-)

Anand said...

Inspiration....U said all the right words. :-)

Prasad....Yep brother...I like it that way meself...and it also cheekily describes how I am too...Straight.
lol. Thanx much.

Anonymous said...

hey...u r really gud at writing..wud like to read more frm u. keep the gud work gng...all da best.

Anand said...

Anonymous....Since I know u now..thank u so much... Glad u discovered me here.. :-)

Anonymous said...

jealous.. yeah its natural to feel dat way.. but i m sad :( coz i was dyin to see my hero MR FLY.

Anand said...

Anonymous....Jealous? Why? Of whom?
Im kinda at a loss in understanding wot u meant.
The fly?? Lol. Want me to send some to you? I got lots here.
;-)

SpReAdInG LoVe™ said...

hahaha.. great fun.
'll try this from now onwards when ever i see a fly :D

1000 bucks for your thoughts?

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