How to complete any Project..

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B

(An intelligent man must be focused on his ultimate aim)

I hadn't thought the PROJECT would come to me. The Project manager had never trusted me on it. To be honest, I wasn't keen on getting it either.

But you know wot they say...some people are born with skills and some are made to do it....forcefully (er..something like that I'm sure) and so I was inveriably chosen for the task.

So I was called in the room. It seemed like a meeting between a superior being and a lowly human a.k.a ME whose life depended on his performance of what he was being told to be responsible of. So....eyes wide, ears open to the max...I took in every single spoken word, my brain on full alert.

MY MOTHER - the project leader and I sat in the dining room.

She looked at me and said...."Beta, are you sure you will be able to do your 'vegetable buying project' well today ?? Can I trust you ??".
I responded, looking shocked, "What?? Ofcourse. Duh !!"

She sat on the chair opposite me and gave me the list of vegetables I had to buy that evening for the house. I knew I was soon gonna be in uncharted territory.

As I wrote the items down, she INSISTED on repeating them so I din't miss anything. "Beta, pao kilo Chota Bengan, pao kilo Doodhi, 4 or 5 Neebu, Haraa Dhaniya masala with everything including kadi patta and........" She gave me the names of some 3 or 4 more vegetables to buy. "And while coming back , get some dahi. Oh, and don't forget your toothpaste too."

I had jotted everything down on a piece of paper.

"Ek baar aur sun le....Pao kilo Bengan...pao kilo....", She went again.
I said, "Yaa Maa, I know, I know already. I've written them down. See??" I showed her the list I had prepared.

"and the toothpaste." She completed. "Ok, okkk. I will I will. Now, mind if I leave?" I asked. "Ya go..but don't forget Dahi...but only when you're coming back not....". I ran out of the house to escape.
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(A good Project Leader must first form a plan of action.)
My plan excelled in simplicity. It was a 3 STEP PLAN that just couldn't go wrong:

STEP 1) Go to Market.
STEP 2) Find Vegetables on list.
STEP 3) Buy vegetables on list.

Could it get any simpler than this ??
The "KISS" philosophy - "Keep It Short and Simple" is not something many follow. Those who do - are a happy lot.

(A competent Project Leader must not only form a plan but must keep a BACKUP plan ready as well...jus in case.)
My backup plan was the SMS that I had sent to my sweet little rakhi-sis - Neha (FYJC - Student of Arts) in my society who helps me sometimes in such undaunting tasks, asking her to be ready to help me with any and everything jus' in case somethin' went wrong (read - forget something).

"What bhai...not againnn!! Ok, wotever." was her reply to my SMS. I was satisfied. Backup was in check. So now all I had to do was put the original plan into action. And I did exactly that.

Step 1. GO TO MARKET :
(A smart Project Leader must make sure he has logistics co-ordinates in place.)
Time: Evening - 6:02 pm.
Market place was no more than 15 minutes away. My bike would help me make it in 7. I reached there in precisely 7 minutes and the parking took the next 2. No time lost. Kool.

The vegetable Market on a Sunday evening is like the Share market on a Monday morning. People everywhere. Buy buy buy. Sell sell sell...sell now...NOW DAMMIT NOW.
This was easy and going according to the plan and there was no reason why it should not be a smooth sailing ahead.

Step 1 was done. It was now TIME to put step 2 into action.


Step 2. FIND VEGETABLES ON LIST :
(The project leader must, in addition to taking care of logistics support, ensure a timeline to his project.)

I hoped to complete step 2 in no more than a few minutes.
I could see vegetables everywhere. All I had to do was to bring out the list I had prepared and.... the rest was.... no problemo.
So I got the list and a pencil out so I could tick off each item as I would buy 'em off.

I had spotted a vendor who I was gonna pick. He had the most varieties of vegetables on display. 'Target was spotted and was visual in nature'. The Mission was already half way through.

Step 2 had taken no more than roughly 5 to 7 measly minutes. It was done and put out of the way. Now it was TIME to put the last and final step into action.


Step 3. BUY VEGETABLES ON LIST :
(A smart Project Leader must always remember Dharamji's advice.."chun chun ke maroonga")

It was important that I picked them up one by one. Doodhi was first on the list. I reached the vendor and asked for it's price. It was 10 bucks a piece. A PIECE??

"Piece?? pieces main bechna kab se shuru kiya aap logon ne ?", I asked him. He looked at me like I was an alien just landed from Mars. He said, "Huh? Aisiech hai. Leneka hai kya?". Well, it was jus 10 bucks. Wot the heck. I bought it, put it in the bag and ticked off Doodhi on the list.

I had just about moved to the side to check my list when I heard a lady bargain with the same vendor for the same vegetable and take it in 8. 8 bucks?? Damn, I was ripped off by 2 bucks in my very first buy.


(An intelligent Project Leader must be non-voilent in nature and learn from his mistakes.)
I learnt. First thing I did was find another vendor. There was one thing prevalent everywhere though - vendors were much better with their bargaining skills than I was. Way way better.

So, finally after having bought all the vegetables on the list one by one and not forgetting Dahi at the end (while coming back) and ticking them all off in the list...I had finally completed my final step.


MY MISSION WAS OVER. A few hitches here and there but it was done - SUCCESFULLY.

(A Project Leader who expects to be paid at the end of the month and appreciated for his work must file his report of Success before the end of the month)

THE REPORT : (was duly given to the Project leader on reaching back home.)
A) Project completed in 32 minutes 42 seconds. (2 minutes, 42 seconds over-shoot was compensated by logistics cover in distance by riding faster on the bike while coming back home.)
B) All Vegetables bought.
C) Dahi not forgotten.
D) Saved money - none. 10 Rs over-shoot (Compensated by taking it off my own wallet. Original Project Leader not reported about this.)

LOL. But it was FUN !!


Ok, By the way u guys........the prices are so bloody STEEP here.
Dhoodhi - 10 bucks a piece... ok 8...wotever.
Brinjal - 24 bucks a kg
Cualiflower - 8 bucks a piece
Lady finger - 25 bucks a kg. OH MAH GAWD !!

Is the rate same over there too...where YOU are??? Or have I been had??

(PS: I confess I'm NOT a good vegge shopper. But I did learn a thing or 2 doing this "project". I guess management does teach you a few things on the side, eh?)