Saturday, April 11, 2009

Never mess with smart Kids

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B


HELLPP !! I've painted myself in a corner and now I'm stuck.

This is what happened.........

I had just about parked my Bike at the usual parking premises at the Society where I stay at when I suddenly got surrounded by a swarm of kids, all shouting the same thing, over n' over - "bike round, bike round, bike round". Sigh...kids !!

Well, What can I say - I'm Sachin Tendulkar in my small nondescript part of the world here....FYI though, I don't stay too far away from the little Master himself.

It's a blackmailing ritual I'm made to perform every time I'm back home from work. Before I cud say anything..the damn kids had already climbed onto the bike and made themselves comfy everywhere they cud. It was amazing how they had left an inch or 2 for MY butts to fit in.
So, as usual, I succumbed under pressure and as per ritual, took them out on the road for their precious 'one bike round' with all of them shouting in glee. People around looked laughing and smiling as I tried my hardest to keep the bike in balance.

That done I thought, I'd finally get some peace when one smart little dude held my hand and said..."I'll ask you a RIDDLE and you won't be able to answer."

I looked down at him, like a tower lookin' down on an ant and said, "Of course, I won't be able to. Now, go play".

I must have walked about a few steps further when he called from behind..."If you can answer, we won't ask for your bike round for 2 whole days."

I skidded into a stop. Did he just say "WE"? This looked like it was planned.

I looked behind. They were smiling their wicked smiles....ALL OF THEM....ear to ear. Yep, it was planned alright. They were up to something.

"Include the weekends and I'll solve your riddle", I said. Hey, bargaining never hurt anyone, did it? "Nooooooo Wayyss." said the kids. The kid said, "2 days, 1 question, c'moooooon, U can answer, it's easy or...are you...SCAREDDDDD??"

These were no kids. These were just good lookin' 'open bear traps'. Brutal. They knew how to trap their victims. Freakin' politicians !! And I fell perfectly into their "You scared?" trap like a fly in a spider's well woven web.

"Scared? Me? Ok smarty, ask your highly intelligent question and I'll answer in record time." I answered.

The moment I said yes, he threw the googly, "Ok, you're not scared BUT......'

Uh oh..did he just say..'BUT'?? Suddenly... MY brain sent me smoke signals. Here it came...the "Me being HAD part". I could feel it in my bones.

"Go on" I said with my eyes wide, obviously feelin' like I was fallin' free into a bottomless ditch. He completed..... "BUT..... if you're not able to answer.....we get FIVE Rounds of your bike everyday, deal?"

BANG. I felt the bottom hit me..hard.

I shouted, "Yo yo yo kid, first of all I WILL answer your dumb question and 2'nd it will be only two."
"No 4".
"No,3 or nothing", I bargained. He quickly agreed and asked, "Ok, done. Now ready for the question?"

"Huh?". He had agreed quite quickly there and I was still thinking. I had a feeling I had already been had. Before I cud think any further he began with his riddle...

"ok, look, a g guy d dies and goes up in the sky, o ok? He wants to g go to heaven. In the sky......."

Nah, there was nothin' wrong with him. He was fine. But this p'ticular little dude stuttered whenever he got excited and goes red in the face...and looks kinda....good lookin' - know wot I mean?

Controlling my impatience, I said, "Oyeee...Should I come tomorrow? I'm sure by that time you would have said something more." I had to pee too and it was gonna be a long one.

"no no, w w wait..wait...wait...In the sky...." he continued in a hurry. "In the sky, he found 2 d doors. Both of them guarded by 2 guards. One d d door was Heaven's and one Hell's. Now this g guy wants to go to heaven, rite? But he doesn't know which is the one for Heaven s s since nothing is written on the door to indicate it."

"On t top of that, one of the g guards always speaks the truth and one lies... like always. So the r r riddle is.......what is that ONE QUESTION ONLY, that the man can ask either of the 2 g guards, so he knows which d door leads to Heaven...and which one to hell ??"


I asked, "One question only? He can't ask 2 ??" "NO, ONLY ONE", He shouted, "and I don't have time, answer in 15 minutes". The cheek of the kid. HE didn't have time he said...Damn kid and here I was dying to pee.

So there I stood thinking..raking my half baked brains. 15 minutes later, I was still standing there, scratching my jaw. This was tougher than cracking the damn CAT. The kids were all smiling cunningly and exchanging glances, with one of their eyebrows reaching for the skies.

Before I cud lose the challenge and my face..I asked for a day and left in a hurry. My loo waited with open arms...uh...door.

While I was making the "aaaahhhh" sound inside...a sudden thought struck me and I realized how I had been had. They had been asking this p'ticular question to just about everyone and had collected a few favors already. They knew this was a toughie and not many could answer. Statistically speaking, they HAD to win more than lose. And I was their latest Bakra. Freakin' half baked rotten eggs.

But the truth was..this was truly one hell of a riddle.

Two guards, heaven...hell...one question...DAMN ! I still don't know the answer. SOMEONE HELP. Save me from the kids. Forget the time limit. I Just wanna get the damn riddle solved now. IF YOU can come up with an answer that satisfies all criteria....I WANT TO KNOW !!! NOW !!

.
.
.
.
HEEEEELPPP !!!!!

( Btw, you're now saving YOUR own prestige too. If you aren't able to come up with an answer..be sincere and say, "I'am NOT smarter than a 5th Grader. Lol. ) Oh, and did I mention.....


HAAAAAAAALPPPPPPPPP !!!!!

78 Spoke their mind: yep, makes a difference !!

Andy said...

Blavinder ji...........You're the first one to my rescue. Think think and save my soul. tic tok tic tok..

Sindhu :) said...

I had the same riddle thrown at me and I solved it too--- forgot the answer though.. will dig into my memories!

Nothingman said...

take another route back home or return home late. Or simply deny that you ever made a deal with them. Prepare the kids for the big bad world out there.

BTW, I like the RSS Girl. :D

N

Andy said...

Pesto Sauce..........U said the right words. I raise my hand in complete agreement.

Andy said...

Sindhu............WHAT????? U had solved it???
Well then......My Einstien....my hero in making.....will u kindly HALLPP???? Hmm??

Andy said...

Nothingman.............. Hahahaaahhaaa. Yea well.. think I jus mite hv to do that. The kids need to know "life doesn't always provide answers" and that "somethings r better left unsaid".

Yep, The RSS girl is a chikie, ain't she?? Sometimes in the night I talk to her and she says.."Shut the f@#@ up man." heee

Little Girl Lost said...

the answer to that one is- u ask either one of the guards- "if i ask the other dude which is the right door, what would he say?' and then choose the door thats NOT the door the guy points to. :) go figure...
ok. i loved this post very very much. it was very very funny without being over the top. now i'll go read your older posts.
hey thanks for visiting me and liking my poem... please do become a follower so that you can read whenever i write next. i really need to have some fun readers like you. :)
cheers! will be back

Andy said...

Lil Girl..............Man...r u sure???? I hv my doubts on that. How do u know the guard lied???? If u choose the door that he did NOT point out to..how do u know he was lying??? Maybe he was actually tellin u the truth and u got oversmart n' got urself stumptd....

No no no. Something wrong here. A review required. But hey, that was a neat attempt. 9 points to u for trying....

ARUNA said...

humara Andy bana full time bakra....well the answer is.....ummmmmmm......ummmmmmmm.......ummmmmmm.........i will come back!!!

avdi said...

naah i am horrible with riddles, my mind just blanks out. Hope someone is able to help you, but a birdie tells me you already know the answer and really just want to test US. huh !

ARUNA said...

what happenend to the so called super-human's intelligence!!!!!I decided, no help will b given.... tht's cheating!I know the answer though!

Andy said...

Aruna..............Yea yea, go on laugh all u want at poor ol' me and give ur heart some thandak. ##@$#. :-)

No answer though..C'mon wreck ur brains, will ya??

Andy said...

Avdi..............awwwwwwwww so sad. Nahh I really don't. U think I'm testing ppl?? I can't be that cruel now, can I??

And where the hell is that SPY birdie of urs??? Lemme have her on my rifle range. Grrr

Andy said...

Arunaaa....U kNOW the ANSWER, yet U won't part with it????? U heartless soul.

Hey cheating is allowed here.. They r kids after all. Shucks..

Self- Proclaimed Shoe Addict said...

fuck i know this answer. gimme sometime i will gt back to u! n then i will comment properly

Andy said...

Self Proclaimed..............Fuck, be quick dude. Quick quick quick...

Smita said...

Am bad at solving riddles :D

Good luck to u though...smart kids for sure they are :D

Andy said...

Smita............. No worries. Ur bad at riddles but good at intentions. :-)
I want u back.

10V said...

Nice try dude...

The question would be "What would the other guy say if i asked which gate leads to heaven?"

And do exactly the opposite of what he says. The honest knows the other one will lie; the liar knows the other one will say the truth, but he will lie about it.

Andy said...

Tanvi.........U sure, man?? OK hold on, I'll by heart this and let them all know.
They somehow turn around your answer and I'm gonna be holding your neck. Lol. Thanx though.
I'm somehow still not convinced.

Sakshi said...

Well stand at the gate and ask the guard "Where is the loo, I need it urgently" Considering no guard would want you to piss right there he may show u to one door - if its the men's you will be ok and if it's the women then y do u have to worry u r in hell or heaven???

Ok don't give this answer to the kids will ya...don't want to take the responsibility of polluting young minds...it's just for ur reference...lol

10V said...

take ur own sweet time andy...and if they r smart enuff like u assume they are...they will convince u that its the wrong question.

Its time for u to prove that u r the principal of the school they r studying in...(not literally) haha

Anand said...

Sakshi...............Hahahaa....I'll try my best not to tell them this... I'll really try.

Hmmm...nev entered women's loo yet. Think it'll be fun to??

Reference noted. I like ur answer. Uh..where's ur funny bone again???

Sakshi said...

Hey one unrelated question to ur blog

I can see your ghostly presence in other food blogs - U hunting for future good cook wife or trying to charm a lady by learning few good cooking secrets??

Sakshi said...

And yeah you are right dude...South Indians are really sweet and loving in nature!! lol

Anand said...

Sakshi............one unrelated answer to one unrelated question - I wasn't interested in cook blogs at all....untill I bumped into Aruna's blog. Now I'm 2% interested. So making the most of it till it lasts.

Charm......me?? I wudn't even know how to do that. Hey...R u following ME by any chance??????? Damn. Heeee. wink wink.

Anand said...

Sakshi........And yea...I was partly raised by South Indians. So I can tell. Wonderful homely people. :-)

Vee said...

Ask any of them, which door goes to heaven? that would solve a part and the other part depends on ur judgment of doing what that person said or doing the opposite of it.. hehe, there's a catch na!!! But I know this one so surely... ALL THE BEST..;);)

avdi said...

Dont kill my birdie please .. please .. like the old jadugar whose life was in a tota.. my life is in the birdie too !

Anand said...

Vee................. My cathes don't win matches u know and my judgement SUCKS. Lol.
That didn't help...but full points for trying to help. Thank u dude.

Anand said...

Avdi.............. Agar iss birdie maa tumhri jaan hai...toh yeh birdie humka dede thakuraiiin.....DEDE.

Ur some chick u know that? Not withstanding ur age. Ur very likable indeed.
;-)

Balvinder Singh said...

Anand, i spent this weekend thinking of the answer only.

Now let me try

The question to the guards should be

"The truthful guard out of you two, please lead me to heaven."

The trurthful guard will do the same and the untruthful guard will not react at all.

This was the best i could think of.....

Make the Impossible...Possible said...

thanks for visiting my blog...

Scratching my head to give you my piece of cent...but no luck!!!!...I liked Sakshi's comment...That was a big mouthful to you.....

Why don't you just give in and continue to give them free ride daily 5 times?....it will be lot more fun, you know....They come up with lots of thoughts which makes you tweak your head...and piss more often....hahahaha.....and come up with more funny post...

Anand said...

Balvinder ji............... U really did make ur brain twist n turn, didnt u??
Well..ur answer seems right at first instance and then..it kinda wavers.
U c..if u ask that question.....not only will the truthful guy stand up sayin.."Here, I'll show u the door, come with me".......but the liar will standup and say the SAME thing. And u'll be back where u started from.
Shucks.

BUt a helluva try. Thank u for trying to help me though. :-)

Anand said...

Make the impossible.................U liked Sakshi's answer?? Well...U don't really think I'll stand there and ask 2 men where the loo is..when Idont evenwanna piss. I jus wanna go to heaven for god's sakes...literally.

Yea well...When pissitoium calls..I go..delegently. Lol.

anshu said...

Man..this is soooo irritating. i am visiting ur blog every half hour to see if some1 has come wid the answer..can't think of anything else..BTW hey Aruna plz gimme the answer if u have it,promise wont tell that to Andy..my id is anshuka123@yahoo.co.in

Anshu said...

ask the untruth guard not to enter the gate to heaven..may be he will do the opposite :-D

10V said...

Kyon sabke bheje ghuma raha hai??? Why dont u just tell them that my answer is correct???? Gosh...!!!

Anand said...

Anshu...................It's irritating to u?? Think bout me. I'll hv to increase my bike-rounds from 1 to 3. Not that I mind ofcourse. :-)

Yo Aruna.....the answer's for me ONLY. IF u know, which I kinda..itty bitty doubt.

Anand said...

Oh and Anshu.............first of all....How wud u know which guard is untruthful?? Hmm???

The riddle really is mind blowing, inni??

Anand said...

10V................According to your answer..the guards very well know wot they r doing. The que is...how do YOU know which one to trust???
U c??
Although, LIttle girl and urs are the only answers close enuff.
God knows.

Varsha Vipins said...

That was hilarious Anand..kids these days..damn smart n devilish..:D..I luveed Sakshi's ans..:D
Hee..Thanks for the visit n comment..:)

Inspiration said...

Aaj Kal ke bachhee. Man.... I am not smarter than the fifth grade.

Nice blog, nice narration.

Jay

Anshu said...

Just announce that the untrue guy shd not enter the heaven gate....if he is da 1 then he shd walk to the gate.

Anshu said...

hey..Aruna nice meeting u too here...Thanx a LOTTT for da answer...its soooooo simple and i was cracking my head like crazy and ya i will stick to the promise...

Sheril said...

Sweets,
Just ask the Guards "Sir Which Door to Heaven..... :)" Simple........

Why do you have to make things so complicated????

Anand said...

Varsha.............Yea kids...sighhh.. :-)
Yea and ppl have been liking Sakshi's answer a lot. Wot with me pissing n' all. hee..
hey....U came, I liked. :-)

Anand said...

Inspiration.........My sweet Shimla visitor, I stand by ur side and say the same thing..word for word.

I'm not smarter than a 5th grader !!

Anand said...

Anshu.......... The guards will need tog inside only at the end of the month for their salary. Lol.

And HEYYYYYYYYY..wots goin on bet U and Aruna....???
Aruna??????? Wot??

Wot u girls upto??? Here's a guy asking for help and u girls out to make an ass outta me. Grrrrrr

Bhalai ka toh zamana hi nahi hai.

Anand said...

Sheril................I Wud hv asked that if the guy who lies always wasn't around. Shucks.....
As if life itself wasn't enuff....Marne ke baad bhi confusion.

Sakshi said...

Haa so what do I get as a prize for the popular vote even though I see that 2 of my buddies are the people who liked my answer....trust me they are as nuts as me!! Hey Anand come on forget hell for heaven's sake and make a new post so that everyone is distracted..after all we are all too young to think of going to the other world....am just 16 and I know you are 17...

Anand said...

Sakshi.................U get my gud wishes and aashirwaad etc...all that FREE stuff u know.

OKies done. Time for distraction. Time for a new post it is....as soon as I figure out wot I'm gonna write bout. :-)

10V said...

andy...u r 17?? wow...i didnt know that...

sakshi: Thanks for revealing that to me...

ARUNA said...

wow kya 16, 17 going on kiddos!!!!!!!!!!! I go with Sakshi, pls change the post Andy!!!

Anand said...

Aruna................ I was wondering who wud make my 60th comment. Real glad it's a perople's person. I'm happy.
Ok, yep...done. I shall be comin' up with some new..as usual something close to me heart..

And uh...where do u go with Sakshi?? hmm?? haha.

Ammalu said...

Anand.. thx for the visit :) no idea about the next post , even I hope sumthing happens soon :) btw... U r a postmachine :P ..

I suggest you read shakuntala Devi's quad stuffs or even R K Agarwal is pretty gud :P

Anand said...

Ammalu...............PostMachine, am I? Thanx...I guess. Lol.
Ur recommendations noted. I certainly will.
:-)

Anshu said...

Did u change the pic to prove that u r above 17? kiska pic hai??? anways banda handsome hai:-D

Anand said...

Anshu.............Yep, I changed my pic. Let's assume that bloke is me.

Handsome?? Awww..shucks...... I know ur jus puttin' me on. But thanx for makin' me feel happy with that statement.
:-)

Imp's Mom said...

Ouch!

So did u get your answer? and how did u handle those kids?

Anand said...

Impeee.......... A few of my visitors here helped with me the answer but I guess I wasn't able to explain it properly to them kidds.
So now..I give them 3 rounds every evening. Sighhh...

Dishilicious said...

oh! gosh! i just saw this last nyt and sent a mail to my friends and voila within 5 hours i have the answer. which i myself didn't understand at first. :)

was this the answer:
You ask one guard what he thinks the other guard would point out as heaven and take the other option accordingly!!!!???!!!

Anand said...

Hey Tasty Dishilisious.........uhh..I'm not sure, really. How do u suppose the poor guy will know if the guard he asked to...is tellin' the truth??? Or lying????

your answer first assumes that the guard u asking is the one who always lies. That itself is the first wrong step.

Im not convinced and if im not convinced how will I convince he kids when they bury u with their infinite questions that come like machine gun bursts??

But....WOt a try. Thanx for trying to help me out here. May I know who u r though??? :-)

Dishilicious said...

ha ha ha... i had the same question, so this is how my friend expalined this to me... :)

R:
ok no... you dont get what im saying
let's just presume heaven guard's name is Bob
hell guard's name is Joe ok?

D:
OK

R:
i dont know which is which, now i pick one
say its bob the heaven dude, i say "dude, if i ask the other guy - who is joe, which door he's guarding what will he tell me"?

- & much later -

R:
so we ask Joe what Bob will say bob will really say heaven but joe will lie and say hell

D:
yes

R:
we ask bob what Joe will say, now Bob knows joe is guarding hell but he also knows that Joe is a liar so he'll tell you that joe will say heaven
so either ways... you will be able to get the labels...

- so did you get it... well i didn't even at this point..-

much later,

R:
i suppose, so if you ask bob what Joe will say the door to heaven is, Joe will point at hell
and Bob will tell you that, as bob always tells the truth.
so you go opposite
if you ask Joe, what bob will point at Bob will point at heaven, Joe will lie and point at hell.
so you go opposite

- much much later - :)

D:
so when u ask this question?

R:
?

D:
both guards will point to hell's door?
aiyooo

R:
yep
and call it heaven

D:
say so

R:
so... you simply go the opposite
i wanted you to understand why

so this convo started at 851am & ended at 920am, when i finallly completely understood.. woo hooo...:)

i'm sorry i had to put up 25% of a chat convo here.. :)

Anand said...

Yo Dishi........... Hahahahaha....ohh mannnn..

Listen, first - ur supposed to be asking ONLY ONE question to only ONE guard..whosoever u choose.

If you cud ask 2 questons and to both tehguards the problem will simplify itself.

Wow, u had a Loooong convi there.... HAha. Thanx me. And isn't this problem quite mind boggeling???

Besides..U realllyyy think I shud try explaining this to kids the way u guys had ur convi???? I mean Reallyy???

Dishilicious said...

aiyoooo! i thought i was bad. :) u don't HAVE to ask 2 questions. :)

you ask only one. & ONE GUARD!!

and the question is
"what do you think the other guard would point out as HEAVEN"???

& both their answers are the same. They will both point to the hell's door, so you know the other one is HEAVEN?? GOT IT???

sigh!!

Anand said...

Dishii..................R u sure the heaven guy will point to Hell's door too???

Well..tell u wot....I jus hope this thing doesn't happen with us for real. Lol.

OK I agree to ur answer although Im still a bit apprehensive.

IN any case I've surrendered to the kiddies and now I give them 3 rounds everyday. Most of the times I try not to make a noise when I enter my Society. I escape sometimes unharmed. Hee

But hey..Thank you soo much for trying...Really.

Dishilicious said...

:) yes see...
let's say and i'm the heaven guy. and u come and ask me, "what do you think that other guy would say if i ask him which of these doors lead to heaven?" I KNOW that the OTHER guy would LIE. and i don't. so i tell you HE will point to the other door, which is, the door to HELL.

PLEAE TELL ME YOU GOT IT, PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT IT, PLEASE TELL ME YOU IT. :)

i'm sorry. in my gang, i'm usually the last to get things. so it's very frustrating for me when someone don't understand something i do. so i have to try, until they do. ATLEAST TRY!! :)

& good luck with the kids. seems like a fun bunch!!! ;)

& you're welcome. will try not to bother u with this again. :D

Anand said...

Dishiiii..Nah nah...Im intrigued by your answer. Nothing like bother etc. U can keep arguing on this till the cows come home and I wud still be at it if im not convinced.

Ur very first statement..."Lets assume u r the heaven guard" is dicey. Assumption is ok but how can u be SURE???

So if I make a mistake on my assumption...I'll go straight to hell, Wont I ?

BUt as far as ur explanation is concerned..Yes yes, I had got it the very firstt time U had explained. Chill chill.

Here's a HUG for you. Accept it . It's my gift to you...

----- HUGGGGGGGGGGG ------ :-)

Dishilicious said...

u dont get it, u dont get what im trying to say. whatever the assumption is, the answer is the same na. that was just the way i was trying to explain. ok ok. i'm done with this. :)

& thank you so much for the gift. :D

Cheers!!!

Anand said...

Dishi............... I'll soon come to your place in Colombo and then we can sit together by the beach and u can explain it to me calmly and peacefully. :-)

Ur welcome ya . It was fun arguing with u. Haha

ankita mehta said...

I am not smarter than the 5th grader!!! Definitely not!!

U.S.P: CUTE POST AND CUTE KIDSSSSSSSS!!

1000 bucks for your thoughts?

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