Friday, December 26, 2008

Sportingly...abusive Sport.

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B

Teri maa ki...hari hari chooo...diyan...bahot achhi lagti hain. Lolz.

Ever thought of a game of abuses where the gal / guy who abuses the best n' the most innovative wins? Kool, no?

I think the best way to hear the most innovative abuses in aamchi Mumbai is in our 8:15 ki virar local and the following rush hour locals.
Gardii - cut to cut.

Some learned English-speaking walas say..people don't sweat, they perspire, pigs sweat. Well, one knew the true meaning of how people sweat-ed (if I can use that word) when one traveled in a Mumbai rush hour local.

But lately with the changing of the Indian 'Vatavaran', one can experience true gay-ism in it too. Well, that's kinda out of context here..so no elaboration there. Next time for sure.

Ok, so getting back to the topic, like every true Mumbaikar, I myself have been a witness to one of the most innovative abusive verbal fights ever between two 'Gentlemen' in a 2nd class compartment for want of space.


This is wot I kinda remember :

Mr A - Bhai dhakka kaiku maarta hai?

Mr B - Main nahi push karta hai baba. Peeche se dhakka aata hai.

A - Aree fir push kiya. Ek jaga raho na yaar.

B - Aree bola na..main kya karoon? Peeehce se aya toh??

After a few minutes..

A - Aree eh boss...abhi boothh hogayela haan. Abhi dhakka nai aana mangtai.

B - Tereko samajhta nahi hai ki main nahi maar relaei? Peechhu se aarela ai?

After a few minutes..

A - Abe, abhi tu dhakka maara na toh main teri g### maarega.

B - Oh, meri g### maarega? Chal dum hai toh maar ke bata. Chal.

A - Chup be chu####

B - Abe eh, tera baa@ chu####.

A - Baa@ pe mat ja be bho#####.

B - Tu bho#####, tera baa@ bho####.

A - Saa#@ teri m$$ ki g##%# main haathi ka L###.

B - Saa#@ tere beha@ ki c###%$ main tere @###$$ $%$## ########.....

and so on n' so forth it went on till the time Mr A got down at his destination.

I haven't mentioned the finer qualities of the conversation but it was like learning a different language altogether. I didn't realize how quickly my time had passed before I reached my own station.

Ahhh..My Mumbai.

Well, the point of this post here is that one of the forgtten villages in India..(has been reported by one the leading newspapers recently) has revived a jhakaas game play of abuses. The game rules state that whoever is able to abuse the most, the best and in the most innovative way wins the contest. Really !!

Though we would love to, we can't really take time off n' go watch the contest there. However, hey...Mumbaikars, do we even need to?

Aree, apni 8:15 ki virar local zindabaad !! And the best part..give it a few minutes before the heated conversation becomes a free for all and then you can participate too. Bonus. Wow.

Doesn't this kinda remind u of our jellybean politicians?? Kursi ke liye they go...eh...abe ehhhh.. EH...ABE EHHH?? I wonder if the Tourism Industry guys should introduce a trip in the rush hour locals as an attractive offer equivalent to jungle safari?? No??

Sighhhh..sometimes...
I jus' turn on the telly, put my legs up on the sofa, have a cold drink in my hand and enjoy the parliament sessions like crazy. and wonder real hard if they are any match to our 8:15 ki Virar local ?? :-)


4 Spoke their mind: yep, makes a difference !!

shital said...

That Mr. A n B sequence was very realistic.. the same thing happens in ladies compartment u knw.. lolzz.. U described it best.. keep writing... cheers x

Anand said...

Shital................ Yea I know. I hv heard. Thanx . I will.

ankita mehta said...

The best and the most enlightening post written till date!!

Verdict : jhakaas, rondechappa, in one word truly written in hindustani style!!!!!! awesome!!

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