How to stop laughing at an inappropriate moment.

TWEET this post of you like it.

Subscribe. Know of New Posts via Email.

B

We have Aussie 'mites', English 'gentlemen', Uk 'oye' skinnies and of course gud ol' 'kaay re' Mumbaikars comin' in our office often...every once a month for business purposes and stay over on company's expenses for a week or two. And one thing that happens everyday as long as they are around..is.....meetings !!

A necessary evil but we all survive it jus' fine. The meetings usually are all business a.k.a statistics, reports, who's that new chick, any juicy gossips.. etc.

Cut to the present.

About a few days back, a semi-emergency meeting was called. One of the data reporting guys in our company, who stayed alone with only his Dog as company, had fractured his leg pretty bad and wasn't gonna report in for sometime.

The Aussie dude was ON with his thing - "Well, mite, U naai (know), this man o' ours is noi (now) in the haaspitoh..and..." Before he could complete, the English woman siting by his side made a sad face, interrupted him and said, "I say this is just teriiibo...poor dear."

And then the inevitable happened.

She continued..."Sorry to cut you oofh loike this Mr Reed but now I wonder who is going to take care ouf his BITCH?"The moment the word was out of the lady's mouth...my Boss looked at us with wide eyed expression and the very next instant his face went into the mmphing 'laugh attack mode' with silent but almost Uncontrollable laughter, his hand covering his mouth.

Now this, we have all been through, haven't we ?? Someone is telling a sober, moving story about something not in the least funny. Everybody's nodding seriously, going along with the sad emotion..and then...without warning comes the fatal blow. Someone says something perfectly normal but YOU find it incredibly ticklish and go into a laughing hysteria.

Now, U canNOT laugh like a moron when a lot of important people that matter to the business, are talking about apparently somethin' serious.

But how the hell do you control that 440 watt laugh current that has passed through you?

The word 'Bitch' had tickled my boss's extremely large funny bone and this one seemed the superio-maximus kind.

While everybody was speaking in slow mono-syllables, he was making stupid, weird faces, trying hard to control his burst of laughter that was threatening to escape his mouth any instant and he dared not do it.

His face had become red as a baboon's ass and was bloating up by the minute. My colleague nudged me to look at him.

Before I tell you wot happened next....

If YOU ever happen to fall into this sweet trap - which you will inevitably one day - here's how to wriggle out of it - quick.

A) Bite the inside of your cheeks or the corner of your mouth. The idea is to give yourself a bit of pain, enuff to make u stop your laugh attack.

B) Avoid eye contact at all cost. You make eye contact with anyone and you're on your way to laugh village.

C) Think of something complex, quick. Like naming everyone in the Indian cricket team and who among them plays left handed.

D) Excuse yourself. Get out of the room immediately - let all your 'evil' laughter out of your system and calmly return back.

Hopefully, one of these will work. But if nothing does, jus' let the laugh out and say, "Hey, laughter's good for health, isn't it?" and get out of the room and start typing your Resignation letter.

So now, coming back to what happened to my boss....

Knowing him well, we knew he was NOT going to stop. We had to do something. We couldn't fake stuff. The people sitting in the room weren't exactly stupid.

Suddenly my colleague and me, we both came up with the same Idea at the same time. We looked at each other and in an instant it was a silent 'go ahead'.
We were going to do somethin' so extra ordinarily simple that it wasn't gonna seem out of place at all. And while at it, rescue our beloved, helpless and stupidly assolish boss out of the room.

I was going to CRACK A JOKE and pull all attention to myself and he was going to sneak up to Boss and rescue him outta there. Oh yea !! That's wot we were going to do.

It was foolhardy. It was a dangerous mission but we were the best soldiers he had at the moment and we were not going to let him down. We were going in for the rescue.

So we went into Action and I immediately clapped hard to get everybody's attention towards me. I said, with an accent of course, "Hey..uh...ol' u peopo, the guy's just injured u naai, naat dead. We ol' shud be feelin' ghood it was only a fractah, none else. Think paasitive, u peopo, c'maaan. Heere, lemme tell ya ol' a joyke to lighten thins up."

"Blimey", said the Aussie. "Aree mast", said the Mumbaikar.

I then proceeded to crack the dumbest joke ever. My colleague LAUGHED his made-up laugh right on cue and the others joined in. I don't think anyone actually got the joke...including me. But that was far from my mind at that time.

And at the far corner.....as everyone laughed, my boss finally, seeing an opportunity, opened his mouth and let out a roar. He had by now started resembling a cut up red CUCUMBER kept on the table for a feast.

My colleague immediately reached him, motioning him to get up and come with him. Explaining that he was the chosen one that week to make sure the boss took his medicines on time, they left in a hurry.

The hyper Aussie dude made me crack another dumb one..saying, "Oye that was crikey. Got 'nother one up ya sleeve, mite?" I couldn't believe he had actually liked my 3rd grade, 'die of boredom' joke.

The English woman laughed a bit and let out a light scream,"Oooohh yes yes." Sighhh.....wonders never cease.
Jus' in case you wanna know the dumb one I had cracked in the room to divert attention........ ??

This one liner was it...
A guy says to another - "Hey are you Dan Druff? Cuz U get a lot in my hair....!!"

Pretty dumb. Yea, I know. :->

Toodledo ppl. ;)
(PS: No cows were harmed during the rescue attempt. The firangs have a better sense of humor, I guess. Hee.)